How to deal with phone spammers

Categories Social issues

1) If you’re feeling polite.

Ask them how they got your number, and ask them to remove it from their database.

2) Less polite.

Demand that they remove your number and make sure they never call it again or you will sue them for harassment.

3) Want to have some fun

Tell them you are really interested in their offer, then when they start talking, simnply put the phone down gently and let them talk to air.  If you’re lucky, it might make the spammer feel like crap because they’ve been ignored, and I just love it when you hear their faint voice saying “Are you there?  Are you there?”

4) If you are bored.

Ask them more and more questions, without ever giving any hint that you might actually be interested.  See how long you can keep them talking – a chocolate fish for the longest call each month.

5) Feeling mean?

Blow a whistle into the mouthpiece.

6) Feeling a little bit mean?

Laugh out loud at them, hold the phone away from you and call out to the rest of the house “Anybody want to have some fun with this bullshit artist?”

7) When they say – “Can I speak to the bill payer, householder, person who buys the groceries”

Say “they just died”

8)  Have some fun part 2.

Say you’re really interested and that you would like to call them at their home later on to discuss it.

9) If you have three calls in one day you can do this

Tell them you are tracing their call so that you can send in the drones.

In a deep menacing voice,

“You must NEVER call this number.

Do you understand? Tell me you understand.

I want to hear you say you will never call this number again. Say it now!

Now don’t call the next number either. Or the one after that.

Pack up your things, leave your desk and never make unwanted calls again in your worthless little loser life.


11)  Feeling nice? part 2

Say “You sound like a nice person.  Why don’t you go and get a real job instead of harassing people all day.  You’ll like yourself a lot more if you do”



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *